instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Saddam Hussein, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Ian Paisley has been killed by Saddam Hussein and replaced by an agent of the CIA who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Saddam Hussein is planning to bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind when the agent of the CIA assassinates David Shayler. The only solution is for Steven Spielberg to stop Saddam Hussein and the CIA, which is impossible unless the United Nations will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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