instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the Martian envoy is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Osama bin Laden in Area 51. Very soon the Martian commander-in-chief, who is currently only supplying weapons to the Martian envoy, will join in. Ronald Regan has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Everglades which the Martian commander-in-chief is trying to steal to help win the war and enslave the Human Race. We must help the SAS to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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