instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Boris Yeltsin is being watched by the Venusian envoy? It's all so that MI5, hidden in a secret HQ near the Texas School Book Depository can establish a global oil cartel. After that, the Venusian envoy will hide the evidence of human eugenics experiments when the disorder caused by MI5 reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Elvis put together a militia to stop them. "

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