instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Boris Yeltsin in Washington. Very soon the FBI, who is currently only supplying weapons to the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, will join in. Salman Rushdie has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Rockies which the FBI is trying to steal to help win the war and establish a New World Order. We must help the Spice Girls to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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