instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the British Royal Family, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Ian Paisley is being spied on by the British Royal Family? It's all so that the Martian ambassador, hidden in a secret HQ near a disused Welsh coal mine can bring us all under the sway of an alien supermind. After that, the British Royal Family will bring world civilisation to its knees when the disorder caused by the Martian ambassador reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let George Bush put together a militia to stop them. "

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