instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the KGB, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the KGB is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Osama bin Laden in the Sargasso Sea. Very soon the Illuminati Organisation, who is currently only supplying weapons to the KGB, will join in. Salman Rushdie has a number of nuclear devices hidden in Dreamland which the Illuminati Organisation is trying to steal to help win the war and pave the way for a world state under despotic rule. We must help our Martian protectors to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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