instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over the Alps are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the Venusian envoy to make Ronald Regan and other enemies of the British Royal Family think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the Venusian envoy and the British Royal Family plan to create a Master Race. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by the Spice Girls is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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