instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Branch Davidian Sect, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The national newspapers are filled with coded articles saying that the Branch Davidian Sect is plotting to pave the way for an alien invasion while Dan Quayle is being persecuted by Charlton Heston to draw attention away from the vile plans of the Branch Davidian Sect. "

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