instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The national newspapers are filled with coded articles saying that the Venusian commander-in-chief is trying to bring world civilisation to its knees while Monica Lewinsky is being persecuted by the CIA to draw attention away from the vile plans of the Venusian commander-in-chief. "

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