instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Branch Davidian Sect, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that Osama bin Laden has been killed by the Branch Davidian Sect and replaced by an agent of the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly the Branch Davidian Sect is planning to bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii when the agent of the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force assassinates Ronald Regan. The only solution is for Rambo to stop the Branch Davidian Sect and the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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