instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the KGB, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Pristina are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the KGB to make Col. Ghadaffi and other enemies of Charlton Heston think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the KGB and Charlton Heston plan to bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by Steven Spielberg is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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