instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the FBI, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The local tax office is a front for the evil works of the FBI. It's part of a national chain of illegal racketeering outlets, whose final aim is to fake a misson to Mars. They've already claimed victims - everyone from Margaret Thatcher to Monica Lewinsky have been caught out. Only Leonardo DiCaprio has seen through the scam, which is why Bill Clinton, in cahoots with the FBI, is trying to bring us all under the sway of an inhuman cabal of evil genii with a view to putting an end to Leonardo DiCaprio. "

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