instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Venusian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Ian Paisley is being watched by the Venusian ambassador? It's all so that Charlton Heston, hidden in a secret HQ near Atlantis can hide the evidence of CIA mind experiments. After that, the Venusian ambassador will subvert the justice system for nefarious when the disorder caused by Charlton Heston reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let our Venusian protectors put together a militia to stop them. "

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