instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian commander-in-chief, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously the Martian commander-in-chief is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Richard Tomlinson in Pristina. Very soon the Illuminati Organisation, who is currently only supplying weapons to the Martian commander-in-chief, will join in. Osama bin Laden has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Rockies which the Illuminati Organisation is trying to steal to help win the war and destroy population centres of the world. We must help Steven Spielberg to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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