instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Tony Blair, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that the Queen has been killed by Tony Blair and replaced by an agent of Charlton Heston who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Tony Blair is planning to pave the way for an alien invasion when the agent of Charlton Heston assassinates the Pope. The only solution is for the Spice Girls to stop Tony Blair and Charlton Heston, which is impossible unless NATO will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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