instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Charlton Heston, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can destroy the economic centres of the world by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track Monica Lewinsky to a secret base near the Sargasso Sea. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows Charlton Heston, in league with the AI, to compromise the Queen allowing Charlton Heston to take over the world. "

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