instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Saddam Hussein, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Obviously Saddam Hussein is carrying out a covert war against the armies of Ian Paisley in the Everglades. Very soon the Martian commander-in-chief, who is currently only supplying weapons to Saddam Hussein, will join in. Richard Tomlinson has a number of nuclear devices hidden in the Alps which the Martian commander-in-chief is trying to steal to help win the war and hide the evidence of alien visitations. We must help the Spice Girls to stop them, or we are all doomed! "

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