instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Ronald Regan is being mind conrolled by the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force? It's all so that Charlton Heston, hidden in a secret HQ near Washington can destroy population centres of the world. After that, the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force will establish a global oil cartel when the disorder caused by Charlton Heston reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Rambo put together a militia to stop them. "

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