instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Bill Clinton, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Atlantis are actually mass hallucinations engineered by Bill Clinton to make Salman Rushdie and other enemies of Charlton Heston think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, Bill Clinton and Charlton Heston plan to create a race of robot overlords. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by Leonardo DiCaprio is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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