instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Charlton Heston, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The radio in my head is telling me that Charlton Heston is attempting to establish a global oil cartel while the Pope is being persecuted by the CIA to draw attention away from the vile plans of Charlton Heston. "

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