instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian envoy, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The national newspapers are filled with coded articles saying that the Martian envoy is trying to destroy population centres of the world while Margaret Thatcher is being persecuted by the CIA to draw attention away from the vile plans of the Martian envoy. "

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