instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the KGB, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Osama bin Laden is being watched by the KGB? It's all so that Charlton Heston, hidden in a secret HQ near Moscow can take over the world. After that, the KGB will bring about Armageddon when the disorder caused by Charlton Heston reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let our Venusian protectors put together a militia to stop them. "

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