instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Martian ambassador, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "A rogue A.I. is stealing people so that it can bring us all under the sway of a despotic ruler by putting them into a computer simulation where they have to track the Queen to a secret base near Atlantis. The mental power thus produced by the captive thinkers allows the Martian ambassador, in league with the AI, to compromise Osama bin Laden allowing the Martian ambassador to subvert the justice system for nefarious. "

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