instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Saigon are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the CIA to make William Hague and other enemies of Charlton Heston think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the CIA and Charlton Heston plan to enslave the Human Race. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by Steven Spielberg is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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