instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Why can't anyone see that Monica Lewinsky is being mind conrolled by the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force? It's all so that the Illuminati Organisation, hidden in a secret HQ near Washington can prevent the return of the Messiah. After that, the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force will take over the world when the disorder caused by the Illuminati Organisation reaches a peak. The only thing we can do is let Steven Spielberg put together a militia to stop them. "

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