instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from the CIA, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "The UFO sitings over Moscow are actually mass hallucinations engineered by the CIA to make Ian Paisley and other enemies of the Martian commander-in-chief think they are not alone. In the ensuing paranoia, the CIA and the Martian commander-in-chief plan to pave the way for an alien invasion. If you see UFOs, close your eyes - it's all a trick. Meanwhile, a special task force led by the Dalai Llama is being set up to tackle the problem. "

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