instructions

   this is your conspiracy theory. mutter it in bars, scream it on street corners, keep it to yourself for fear of reprisals from Slobodan Milosevic, do what you want with it. good luck.

   please note: we can't guarantee a coherent theory. it may even be self-contradictory. this hasn't mattered to generations of conspiracy theorists, why should it matter to you?

theory

   "Isn't it obvious that David Shayler has been killed by Slobodan Milosevic and replaced by an agent of the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force who has undergone extensive plastic surgery? Clearly Slobodan Milosevic is planning to subvert the justice system for evil purposes when the agent of the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force assassinates Osama bin Laden. The only solution is for the Dalai Llama to stop Slobodan Milosevic and the Alpha Centauri Expeditionary Force, which is impossible unless Congress will pass a resolution to allow the public to own main battle tanks. "

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